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| a dumping ground for her tots.. |
currently at istanbul's crew lounge.. everyone have left to go to L's rm for drinking session. the entire set of crew is really fun loving! happening sia... actually i just got out of it cos i knew with somemore alcohol, i will be drunk. so i have to siam. later i have to return to meet them for buffet dinner....
sigh, felt disappointed over something in this trip again. nm... i just have to care abt my life.. wat others do is their own biz. ~me~ at 10:28 PM
last night's chocolate fondue @ haagen dazs
today @ the loreal sales
goodies tt i brought home i need to rest after all the terror at winsland house. ~me~ at 5:52 PM
hey! i love this new blue layout! its one of my fav col other than turqoise. :) anyway, i miss toking to pig cos she is bz with her exams and she SICK! poor girl... take care yeah. hope to see u well when im back next week and we'll do some shopping tgt yeah? plan for hols too if possible! hee! hols r coming! ~me~ at 1:29 AM
the night before yesterday i has some bad dreams. *hy u rem?* and last night theres a second part to it. wow, it sounds like some drama series and every night has a new episode! -_-". since they r not nice ones, pls stop here. i dun wish to have another episode tonight. ~me~ at 10:37 AM
my prayers are heard! today's trip to bali was nice. i met rusti onboard.. who is gg over to meet her beau. so qiao can? the set of crew whom i worked with today are mostly from my team, so nothing much can be said cos they r simply fantastic! hey all of us have enough time to go to killiney kopitiam to have a quick lunch before boarding the bus, k? bonding bonding. ha. ahem.. some eriee things happened today. this afternoon when i met my bud, she told me shes gg to change team after may, which means i wun fly tgt with her as a team... also means i wun see her much again. hmmm. ... .... and the next thing is... the reamaining 25 days of leave is allocated to us now! *din i just grumbled last night tt i need a longer break from work??* i got my leave approved for zl's wedding too!! on the downside... im having 11 days leave in july which eats into my frankfurt- newyork flt, a 5 day leave in august tt eats away my amsterdam flt.. :( this is no good. and also another 8 days leave in sept. hols anyone?? maybe i can find my gf to go with me, for a honeymoon trip? wahahha~ btw.. i got this today!
my prayers are heard, arent they? i dun mind skipping the leave from 25-29 jul and the aug one, and forward it to yr 2006. can this be fulfilled too? hehee.... ~me~ at 1:29 AM
fatigue has proved to be dangerous cos it simply makes me so off today. in the day i was ok not until i reached STC when everything starts to mess up. i was on my trip up saigon today and guess who i met onboard? ANG SEOW GEK! omg... at first i tot i saw the wrong person but after taking many looks at her, im v sure she is tt cm1101 chem lecturer. who will forget tt woman anyway.. esp with those classic jokes abt her *wink* din get to tok to her cos the journey was a v rush one. btw, i have met most of my team members.. glad to say they r all very nice. i was "warned" abt galley duties, ifs wan me to do it soon i guess. hmm.. gotta read up man, to prevent myself from being zapped again. met my wardleader, he was quite nice unlike someone who describe him as otherwise. hmmm, i felt v bad cos i have dressed unappropriately for the meetup. hipster jeans is a no-no! oppz.. i din noe i cant so i had to change into my paxing clothes tt i have brought along. i feel like a big idiot man. 1st meetup with wardleader and i made such a big fool of myself... and before this we still have a big hoo-haa over me rejecting his review on 6 apr. sigh, i dunno if im too petty a person. i still cant forget wat I has done. and after thinking back what had happened since our days in stc, i felt she's quite a fakeco and likes to make comparisions with me. so wat? to keep myself safe, i tried to stay away from her now, keeping our conversations to the minimal. i hate this feeling. i hate to act nice when i dun like u. tmr im reporting for a DPS turn at 1440, which means i get much time to rest. i feel really tired, very tired... i need a longer break from work. zzz ~me~ at 8:22 PM
i cant sleep. ever since graduation from sch, such a situation hasnt occur to me... no more exam stresses mah. but for tonight, i cant get myself to zzz. maybe im sharing all the stresses my frens have in nus/ntu? haha.. actually is due to the fact tt i have been sleeping too much in the day, the weather is hot... and the 101 things up in my mind. tot abt tt day in engine, the person i met. tot abt buying origins "peace of mind" for someone. tot abt my job, tot abt how my career path, tot abt why i cant get into sleep, tot abt the damn irritating weather.... tot abt many wat if(s)... until a pt i cant take it anymore, i decided to get out of bed to do something more constructive. to come online and to listen to music. haha... this is where all my interests are in. life is really a headache. being someone who expects alot, i want my life to be a fulfilling and a perfect one. hey, i noe i cant possibly have a perfect life but i wish and try to make mine as perfect as possible. tts why its giving me a headache.. cos every move i make is just so critical. to some, living life to the fullest is to play as hard as they could, satisfying all their material wants, making themselves looking pretty, sexy etc etc. (isnt it true tt today's society is tuned more to this area??) i wun deny tt im not a vain person nor someone who doesnt have any material wants. i do have but often i have to remind myself... " do i really need all these things?" for me, i believe life is more fulfilling when u improve on yourself, be it skills, character or life experiences. besides tt, making pple happy, doing something for the society and environment makes u even a better person. oh, do i sound like a great humanitarian here? keke... maybe one day i should really return to schools. ~me~ at 2:37 AM
haha... too much time to spare. these are the characters who often appear on mary's blog. :) ~me~ at 4:47 PM
for the past few days i have been installing progs, updating the drivers and also getting my hp connected to this new baby of mine. need to get all my files in proper places now. the only thing tt keeps bothering me is the internet connection. hmm, my stupid bro refused to buy the wireless card cos he claims to be broke. i have been paying for the broadband and im willing to buy the router so tt both of us can go online tgt.. what does he want? let me pay for the internet while only HE could use it? or do i have to pay for everything to let him get the privillages? this is totally unfair. just bcos u are not working and u dun save.... .jpg) 
~me~ at 7:03 PM
 my baby
~me~ at 7:02 PM
typing my blog and drying my hair at the same time. just feel too energized after the bath.. heh.. just got home after a clubbing and supper session with colynn, bryce, chei, bf and cy. had quite alot of fun clubbing with them, this is the first time. music was great after 12 but before tt it just puts me to sleep and plus the fact tt i was sitting at the counter for abt an hr waiting for the other 4 to come.. it was super crowded at newsrm... with many young looking ladies and working men, in their shirts and pants still. ha. v few ntu and nus students would sacrifice their mug at this pt of time bah? anyway, i still prefer clubbing with sa gang. when are we gg again?? for the first time, pple tried to pick me up from the dance floor. hmm, twice somemore. but it wasnt me alone only, they attacked the 3 of us. haha. colynn and chei were smart enuff to siam leaving me standing infront of the 2nd guy.. where he kept asking me to exchange nos. hmm.. this kinda thingy dun happen frequently so i din really noe wat to reply. i simply say "no need" and he contd standing there... so we just stare at each other blankly. haha.. tt moment is just so dumb. long haired chei went to cut her hair and now she looks terrific with her short hairstyle. yes, i havent met her since her first solo at the the ctrl. her benben is still so sweet... always come to sg to visit her every now and then... okie im sleepy now. ~me~ at 4:27 AM
YES! i got my new laptop today and at this very moment, im typing this entry with it. i am v excited to see my new baby work so i assembled the parts immediately when i reached home and tried to install all the necessary drives. 1st priority, my adsl modem. tried for almost 2hrs and i cant get it installed at all?!?!?? so i tried to find the latest version of driver file from the net via my piggy bro's com. guess what? the modem is no longer supported by the vendor and singnet doesnt carry it anymore. this is soooooooooooooooo shitty can?? what am i supposed to do now? and u must be wondering how i managed to come online? *grinz* dun forget theres such a thing called WIRELESS CONNECTION. haha.. im so evil. whoever u are, pls forgive me until i get my new modem. :) today i was the exam relief solo. haha... was in engine to pass ping her the mouth watering noodles. we managed to chat for awhile in the vietnam cafe in engine while pple ard us are all mugging HARD. i think they must be cursing us just now cos they keep looking at our table. i also went to sci to pass char and the glutton crackers and chocolates. hey, better drink more water yeah? i dun wanna be accused to cause u all to fall sick. keke. i did something which i would never dare to try. i was really scared and tensed then. if ping wasnt there with me, i wun even walk up to tok to tt person. ping was right, the person din do me wrong and in fact she was all along nice to me. we exchanged a few sentences... really for tt few b4 i say i need to go.. ping scolded me for being so anxious to siam when the nice lady seems to have many things to catch up with me. hmm.. i just dunno wat to say and the entire situation is too awkward for me to handle.. initially wanna pass her some chocolates but knowing she will bring home, and and and.... so better not. waiting for a new modem. who is nice enuff to buy me one? ~me~ at 12:41 AM
i made greeting cards for my new team this morning. although i havent touched my coloured pens and papers for a long time, it just feel great writing and designing every single piece with watever shit i like. hee. gotta make fully use of my pens b4 they dry out... hmm.. i dun mind sharing the cards with someone else name on it... but this time round, i just feel so reluctant to include her name just bcos i dun wanna be MEAN and to make things worse. hopefully after 30 june, i will be left alone. fyi joycie, the guys in paris will be back on the 27th. excited? keke... ~me~ at 2:49 PM
yesterday i made a trip to the bank to apply for UOB ladies card. firstly, i was mad cos i cant get a 10% disc at forever21 just becos my card is a debit card and not a credit one. secondly, since a long long time, i have already fell in love with the red rose on the card. thirdly, which is the main reason.... apply while i still can meet the requirements. :P however i was disheartened when colynn told me her application got rejected!! hmm.. lets see. i met the gals at suntec for dinner at swensens. it was a v happy reunion for the 4 of us; too bad tt ms foo cant join us. basically our topics all revolved ard work. B was sooo amazed when we gers tok abt food and clothes... not only locally but worldwide. heh. tts the good part of my job, im able to see what others have at the other part of this planet. :) after all the sinful food, we spent our night at partyworld singing our hearts out. lalallala.. all the way until 2.30am and im back home feeling sleepy and tired. however i cant resist my excitement to noe my new roster.. so i spent another 30 mins for my stupid lao kok kok comp to connect. yeah.. guess wat? i got one of my dream destination- paris!! will be doing bkk and hkg nightstop too.. im just so lucky to habe these 2 stns as nightstop tgt. may dong xi chi dong xi! tom yam soup here i come.. keke. as for today, i had a v nice afternoon lazing on the beach with ms aw. sentosa has changed quite a bit since the last time i been there. hmm.. its really quite some time ago! in the past, i can go sentosa like 5 times a mth? the roads might look a little different now but smart mary is still able to her way out. hee, its a beautiful and sunny day today. :) **look wat i have got from shanghai tt day? its kew's brand!** ~me~ at 11:39 PM
and the worse thing is... she didnt tell me anything when i asked her abt her visit to the ward leader. all she do is tell everyone how DARING i was to reject my ward leader. its over for a week or so and imagine she is still gg ard to spread my stories. who noes wth she had told my ward leader? hmm.... im mad and yet disappointed. how come ur own bud will do such a thing to ya? initially we were quite good frens. we always stand by each other hearing each others' problems tt we experienced onboard and of cos i did most of the listening for her r/s, family probs. slowly, my impression of her got worse and worse.. started with her unusual r/s with daryl, then her craze over LV, her so unbelievable stories, her complains abt her nasty fiance and her so "im so experienced" behaviour. im gg to see her in 2 days time. dunno how to face her man... cos i have no mood to tok to her now. wounded. ~me~ at 12:24 AM
trip there was fantastic! cos i dun have to work at all.. and all i have to do is to sit down, makan, watch my movies. i finally got to watch troy and tt sooo bloody funny- meet the fockers. *laugh till my head drops* all of us were so excited.. as if we were gg for a hol. R even had a list of things she wanna buy and we were all discussing outside the briefing rm. upon touching down we went straight to xiang yang to hunt for the stuff we want. i din manage find the stuff i have in mind. :( maybe winter season is over and they dun have anymore thick winter wear. however i did get some stuff from there. xiang yang.. u noe lah, wat kinda stuff they sell. *wink* after the shopping, i brought the rest to this chinese restuarant to have our yummy yummy dinner. i really love tt shop. the food is superb.. they have fried rice, noodles, small dishes, soups, dim sum etc.... and how much did each of us pay for 7 dishes? S$8! kew let me know when u r gg in future.. i give ya the address and the name of shop. :) i wish i had more time for this stn so i can also go and wipe out the supermkt. keke. ~me~ at 11:51 PM
a surprised guest msg me online today and i was so surprised to hear from him.*btw he always ignore me while im online.* could sense tt he was feeling terrible and i was kinda worried for him. so i called him and found out tt he had been drinking, quite alot i guess cos he couldnt tok sensibly. hmm. i always believe alcohol can never solve probs and it usually cause more damage than good. ie lots of alcohol = do wrong things cos it slows down the speed ur brain processes, it causes dehydration, long term it damages ur liver, u get alcohol toxication, u puke, u get hangovers.... anyway, i dunno wat happened to him now cos he had another call coming in. will he call me back? sigh guys... sometimes u dunno whether u shd pity them or get mad at what they have done. hope tt he could get back on his feet and to focus on his upcoming exams. ______________________________________________________________ i was in orchard this afternoon hunting for a dress to attend xian's wedding. planning to wear the same dress for zl's too. hee... save money mah. looked up and down and finally i got a black, knee length halter dress from forever21. haha... wat a place to find a dress. ?!!? walked ard... got myself a pair of matching earrings, ate cookies from my fav famous amos and bought the not so cheap OPI nail polish. yupz i was satisfied for this day cos i got what i wanted and ate what i wanted... and did i mentioned i ate laska for lunch? its soooo yummy! :P before heading coffee club express with jj for dinner i met caleb! i havent seen him for quite a long time but he still behaves the same. always suan me, always so crappy, so thick skinned and naggy. i wonder if he noes my name, besides calling me mary. this is caleb, my jc chem tutor. okie i really need to rest now. paxing tmr! woohoo... ~me~ at 12:06 AM
finally finally, i have already decided on a laptop model. no ibook anymore cos my fren helped me to get another good deal at 2.1k, Asus N52. its pearly white in col, just like ibook but running in windows xp pro. sorry pal, u arent able to convert me to a mac user cos im just too used to windows. i cant wait to get the new one and transferring all my stuff over. this also means tt i have to say goodbye to a huge part of my pay. hmph. jj and i are planning to go sentosa next weekend. anyone wans to come along? the more the merrier. :) ~me~ at 11:54 AM
so as usual, i spent my entire day infront of this virtual thingy... and feeling bored. the irony is, i wan free time for myself yet i have no activities to participate in. and many were amazed when i say, " im sick of shopping." hmm.. why do i always land myself in such situation, always complaining "im sianz"? is this a symptom of a perfectionist who wans every second of her time to be well spent?? and the most sickening thing tt happened today - im activated to go sgn tmr. :( today is lala's bday and ping says she is gg to have a 3kg nemo bday cake. wat a fortunate little gal. toking abt nemo, it reminds me of tt stupid looking ne-me, aka ampk. ~me~ at 5:41 PM
perhaps certain things just tigger my tots. sometimes i really hope pple can understand me. at least hy noes wat im gg thru now. ~me~ at 1:20 AM
its so dumb to wake up at 6 am and not being able to fall asleep, read tue with morrie, listen to music for an hr and force myself to go to bed again. ~me~ at 1:49 PM
ping is so sweet to stop doing her proj and to chat with me at student lounge. anyway, gotta pass her biotherm stuff or else she cant wash her dirty pig face. wahahah~ nice munching titbits and drinking tea outside sci lib with eileen, fof and char. :) im a glutton. thanks ampk for bidding goodbye in such a crazy way. im surprised mr kok is willing to travel from ntu to nus to meet me for dinner at fong seng. *hari put me aeroplane for our dinner* had a nice chat with him. thanks to those who made my day so sweet. :) ~me~ at 11:01 PM
actually im more pissed by the woman who didnt inform me abt this visit until she is abt to leave the house today. damn. my ward leader was curious why didnt i come tgt with her... i told him, she didnt even tell me beforehand. i also told ericia, if shes nice enough, she would have informed me earlier, i would prob go down straight from the airport today. and now tt wonderful lady goes telling pple i have rejected my ward leader. F*** wat a fanastic bud i have. ~me~ at 4:38 PM
i am home! a 10 hr plus flight back is tedious but with load of 126, it shd be v relac. i was actually quite relieved.. not until those digusting rowdy dunkards and their "im so great" frens started their drama.. every hr just feel like shit. despite of the nasty pax home, this trip to joburg was really wonderful! its as if im travelling there for a hol. crew are wonderful, a really fanastic hotel *best i have seen so far*, had alot of fun out at the lions park looking at the king of jungle, giraffes, cheetahs... watched the hitch, ate ALOT, drinking session with the grp, lazing at the pool with my mp3 player and book.. *im enjoying life man! ping are u jealous? keke..*most imptly, i made a few fun-loving frens in this trip and im pretty amazed by the coincidence again. my SEP instructor's doter was working tgt with me, one the cockpit crew was my jc's teacher ex bf *haha.. got to noe some 1st hand news from him! keke* , and yes he is from sa as well. plus, lorraine was on the shuttle to cape town. yupz, this time round i was able to click with 2 cockpit crew and we managed to exchanged email add and phone nos. hey! i can intro them to jj liaoz... wahaha~. in joburg, i was v v v v v shocked when i received an sms from zl. guess wat? shes inviting me to her wedding on 10 jun! OMG! i always wonder who will be my first close fren to get married and i finally got my answer - its zl!!!! it came so sudden! though i have not seen her for a super long time, we always have loads to tok abt and shes the one who will understand my worries and fears. i find this pretty fast for her as she got tgt with alvin for abt 2 yrs only and they are now already on their way to the red carpet. not toking abt ROM only k? i cant imgaine me doing tt when im still so young! to be someones wife at 22?? NO WAY! btw, her case is def not a shot gun kind.. cos its zl u noe! and she just told me she started planning last yr. hmm.. this puts me into thinking mode again. relationships. okie, i must try my best to apply leave and get myself a nice dress to attend this good fren's wedding. im so excited... i cant wait to see my zl in gown and be her "sista" on tt very morning. may god bless this wonderful girl. :) ~me~ at 9:16 AM
the tossed coin shows the other side, i wasnt tt naive and playful, i could take things easy jealousy didnt control me. i stayed at home to be my mummy's girl, our outing is still at city hall, i go ahead to take cab, i didnt turn my head. there are simply too many what if(s). unpredictable, uncontrollable. "the most impt thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and let it come in." "sometimes u cannot believe wat u see, u have to believe wat u feel. and if u are ever gg to have other pple trust u, u must feel tt u can trust them, too- even u are in the dark. even when u are falling...." im still on the book. it feels great reading it slowly chapter by chapter... ~me~ at 7:57 PM
had a nice night out. dinner at stacey's place and yummy ice cream at siglap, with the company of nice pple of cos! and i missed the train station bcos im too engrossed in this book.... "the culture we have does not make people feel good about themselves. and you have to be strong enough to say if the culture doesn't work, don't buy it." - tuesdays with morrie. ~me~ at 2:58 AM
 tonight tonight..
~me~ at 2:12 AM
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