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| a dumping ground for her tots.. |
mary stayed at home whole day to pack her messy room and tried to master the art of twisting her hair. hair fell and the scalp is receiving all the stresses... wonder if the hair shd be snipped. have been considering for a long time. hmm..
anyway, i got very irritated today when my dad ask me abt my comp.... cos, its spolit and whenever i wanna use my bro's, i always ganna "niao" and we will always end up quarrelling. luckily he is not at home now, i can use as long as i like.. hee! toking abt tt idiotic bro of mine... i realised he went back to his part time job, partly is because he wanna raise money to buy his gf tics to 5566 concert! i saw tt from his blog. he doesnt even have the money to support himself and yet he is splurging on tt ger for 5566 concert?! how can i wake him up? he is so defensive when we tok abt his gf... sigh! tmr is the last day b4 i can let my hair down. :) im looking forward to tt. ~me~ at 6:32 PM
went tuition in the morning. i wonder how long i can still stay with tt imp and huiyi when i start getting bz and when tt little sum of money doesnt mean much to me anymore. i guess there will also be a pt when i need more time for myself. on my way to tuition, i met ailian and aiwei on the road. ha, so coincidental. so i asked aiwei if she wans to go out today. and we ended up in orchard tgt with ms chua. yupz, shopping again. but for this time, mary has no intention to spend at all. serious. just wanna meet up with frens and relac. and i met alot of pple in town today.. quite weird cos all are old frens of jss. a councilor which used to take my sec 1 class and 3 seniors in band. havent seen them for yrs loh! qishen scanned thru me from head to toe. i wonder why he did tt? find me too skinny? hmm.. while shopping at ck tangs, we were approached by this ger who invite us to a party held by starhub. initially felt a little weird abt the invite but after the ger explained to us how the party will be like, i took up the offer tgt with jy. haha.. we were both tempted by the free drinks and food. its was a small party and everyone has to wear a pink flower made by ribbon. *its cute!* "sex and the city" was the main course for this party * reminds me of the night which i watched one whole series at dancen's place*. their aim is to promote HBO lah... this party was rather fun and something different for me cos i havent been to one like this. the finger food served was wonderful! i love the pastry with mushrooms in the center... yummy. drinks were quite special too.. there is one which had mint with 7 up, green in col and garnished with mint leaves and the other is red. the red one is 7 up with something else.. im not sure wat is it.. there were also a few games for us.. oh.. jy won herself ck perfumes, small ones lah. i requested the eternity for men from her. i like the scent. they filmed an episode of "sex and the city" for us to watch and we were all given a cup of popcorn each. the cups were nicly dressed with ribbons too. haha.. the whole party seem so girly huh. at the end of everything, we were given a goodie bag as well. :) a happy saturday except for being niao by my bro for using his comp again. hes such a pig! ~me~ at 11:27 PM
yesterday, was a nice night out with old pals at ntu hall 3. must be wondering wat the hell mary is doing dere yeah? haha... we went there to surprise eyy with a bday cake! tts jj's idea. she wanted to give our old fren a bday surprise in the midst of his mugging. so she drove to my place, pick me and ly up and we headed ntu.. *sHhH...* we actually lost our way, ha.. but we managed to find the correct route eventually. roads at night isnt tt easy to recognise u see.. :P btw, joyce thanks for the bangles! ly passed them to me last night. :) okok... back to the surprise. we went to eesin's room first, which is linked by a toilet to yy's... and from eesin's rm, we quietly sneaked into yy's room with the cake and candles. yy din noe our presence until he turned around thinking it was eesin behind him. hahha.. i guess he must be v touched by wat we have done, just tt he din show it. hehe.. all of us sat outside, chit chat tok cok until 11pm. its was nice to see and catch up with all these frens which i havent met for mths... suddenly i realised something. hmm.. i dun seem to enjoy toking to my fellow batchmates tt much compared to other frens. hmm.. i wonder why. maybe there's some part of me tt i wanna hide or i just i wanna put a false front infront of them.. or maybe its just tt time factor, cos we havent know each other long enuff. anyway there r some displeasures tt i wanna voice out! *abcdefg* to those irritating ham sup guys and zha bo who go around to see how pple "zhao geng". for guys, i cant really blame them, cos nature has made them so.. sigh i shant elaborate too much here. BUT the worse thing is, ur girlfrens go ard to "peep" at you?! making nonsensical remarks and telling the world wat col and type u r wearing?! okie, i noe i noe sometimes its meant to be a joke.. but theres a limit to it loh! i just cant stand it... maybe i have a very low tolerance to this. i feel we should show more respect for each other. ~me~ at 9:32 PM
anyway... we were told abt our sny destinations yesterday. i'll be gg to narita and sydney! these are the two places tt i wished i will get and indeed i have! cuixia is gg to narita on the same day too.. yeah, this is so exciting cos we will be meeting in tokyo! i wanna eat my jap food and visit the sanrio shop over there. heh. if we have more time, i would love to go disneyland too. okay.. this also means i have to start preparing my bags and my winter wear. hmm.. i need money money money. oh no.. im intending to get my creative mp3 player leh. okie, gotta teach more tuition this mth le. scrimp and save on other unnecessary stuff too.. :) as for today, i had a date with 3 guys and 2 gals. haha.. dinner at millenia walk food court and tok cok session at erm... *i forgot the name of tt cafe again! ha~* actually the group has quite a weird combi of pple- the sa gals and zh's "pilot" frens. we dunno the guys v well, so was some distance b/w us. at some instances, we only tok among our own group. haha... anyway i feel tt the guys r quite nice pple lah, cos toking to them makes me feel at ease; not fakey which i think tts how i behave in STC at times. futhermore the 2 outings we had with them previously were rather okie. yupz.. zx will be returning to france this fri while gf will be coming home for his 2 weeks break on sun. hmm.. i really hope tt their training will go smoothly and they will be back home safely next march. :) ~me~ at 11:55 PM
we had our meal again at sakae. usually when im out with my frenz, we pay for wat we have eaten and ordered... though we share our food at times. today this group operates differently, they intend to split the cost equally. hmm.. and bcos of this, it made me wonder why pple can be so insensitive and selfish.. they ordered wat they like and in a few plates, thinking the rest would wanna eat as well *actually im not interested in wat she ordered, i just eat cos i dun wan to waste the food* premium plates, basket of prawn tempura, teriyaki salmon and shes still want more. hmm.. she doesnt seem to have any control.. its the same when it comes to other things.. this is how i feel. tmr there will be test.. i havent started my revision. hmm.. a rainy day is good to sleep but makes me feel rather moody.... plus the sounds of saxophone... makes it even worse. where is the sound coming from? i rem i played that part b4.... ~me~ at 3:47 PM
when i was there, she was also quite mean to me and her colleague * tt nice auntie* she keep asking me for tt paper with my measurements when i din have it at all. yah... in her nasty tone again. she actually left it on the table herself! duhz... still wanna blame me and her poor colleague. tt nice auntie still apologise to me on her behalf.. btw, mrs ng wasnt like tt when ms foo was ard... i hope i wont go there again.. i dun wish to see tt mrs ng and always have to walk all the way to the back of youth park.. i have been gg there every sat leh.. after tt i met up with dick and also mingwei who left us early... i went shopping again. haha... imagine shopping with 2 guys. i feel a little awkward too... but okie lah... my *jie mei* had to buy his stuff too. so mingwei and i were there to give him suggestions as well. din see many pple today except for gina and eileen at the heerens. was so happy to see both of them and we made alot of noise and tried taking pics in the middle of nowhere.. just as i was gg to press the button, my cam died on me! argh!!! so ended up we took a pic using gina's fone... ger, rem to send me hor! tts abt it.. i wanna sleep le! :) ~me~ at 1:50 AM
today i finally had the chance to meet my fren, jj. really happy to see her! we havent met for 2 mths le bah? after we had our dinner tgt with her colleague, we went shopping at bugis. hmm.. guess wat?! we met zx at singtel shop when i went in to enquire something! soooo qiao, can? we were talking abt him over dinner and i told her to ...... and we did see him! wah.. i better keep my mouth shut next time bcos lately whoever i mention, will appear infront of me out of nowhere. :X love is such a complex thing.. dun think i could ever understand it. i guess it takes time, for everyone to be mature and to have a better hold to our relationships. if u r reading this, i just wanna tell u tt i really admire the way u have handled it, u r brave. ~me~ at 11:49 PM
today is not a good day.. things simply dun go right. actually i can easily get full marks for a test today but becos i crossed wrongly for a mcq question, i failed to get tt full marks. damn sotong manz. this afternoon i tried to find some pals to go for dinner tonight, smsed a few of them but all gave me negative replies. actually one agreed to, and i was really happy... but ended up, he cant make it either. hmmm... a little disappointed though.. i need some life! im not gg to stuck myself at home or STC anymore! __________________________________________________________________ i wrote the above at 09:56pm and this is wat i read abt my horoscope at 10:48pm... "Plans for getting together with a group of close friends may have to be called off because of sudden and unexpected events. This could have you feeling somewhat down, especially if a romantic partner is involved. Try not to worry about it too much. You will be able to re-schedule, and you could use the time alone anyway to relax and center yourself." this is scary... ~me~ at 9:56 PM
~me~ at 9:55 PM
btw, im feeling a little sianz abt my current life now; its boring. i hardly get to go out with my good frens, except for aiwei and jiayin, who i meet once a week or once a fortnight and tracy who i just saw on sat to mug with. its difficult to get pple out these days. hmm.. everyday i have been gg home straight from STC, then tuitions. and im sick of coping at home or do plain shopping. i just wanna do something different. also, i wanna watch white chicks! have been saying it for a long time... maybe im just feeling a little paraniod today. ha.. esp when jeanesse says she has a small social circle. hey! i dun think i have such a small circle leh! to whoever is reading this... who is free to go out this week? i wanna find dinner kakis for weekdays, and movie kakis... sms me hor. faster tt way. hee.. ~me~ at 10:26 PM
went for brunch tgt with carol and jeanesse... and yeah.. i finally ate my big breakfast tt i have been craving. at the same time, i saw the hello kitties tt they r promoting now. they r sooo cute can? there are a variety of cols.. and i love the light blue one! haha.. im gg to get tt on week 3! after tt i went for a manicure alone while the gers contd shopping. my first time... and i dunno wat to expect. i din noe pple have to do so many work to the nail neh! she shaped using all sorts of tools, put oil on my nails *dunno for wat leh* and applied hand cream to my hands.. she massaged too. hmm.. feels really pampered and relieved tt i dun have to do the nail job myself. the most embarassing thing actually happened when i keep touching my nail accidentally and have to ask the ger to repaint it for me.. * twice when in there and once when i just step out of the store* shows how "chor loh" i am, hehe. its also becos she painted 3 layers of red for me lah.. damn hard to dry can. wat can u do at orchard on a sat afternoon? shop loh! hee.. i walked from taka to heeren back to taka and again to heeren to get my addidas jacket. its a nice one, hee.. for me, jacket is something tt can last for a long time so i will choose one tt i really really like and i dun mind spending a little more on it. i reached nus at 3 plus, saw sci club pple and i was so excited when i met gina! btw i was late, hee.. poor tracy gotta wait for me. we studied tgt in the lib- a place full of wonderful memories. recalled the times i disturbed ampk when i was tired after studying, when char, yueming, ziling and i had our picnics in the lib, when i questioned how chong, weite and pearly those brain-killing concepts... anyway, i think its more productive to study in sch than at home... see wat am i doing now? haha.. and its really nice to have tracy ard although we dunno each other tt well. we will noe each other better from now.. * are u touched, darling??:P * a fulfilling day always keep me in high spirits and positive abt life. ~me~ at 11:40 PM
mary is v v v tired while typing this entry. just got home from ah peng's wedding dinner which has delicious food and nice company. im really happy for him! cos another of my closer cousin is married.. the age has arrived, my cousins have reached the "red bomb zone". xian is getting married next yr. hmm.. who is next on the list! tt also shows we r not young anymore! sad huh. haha... i went straight from STC w/o gg home. took ericia's car to bugis, shopped at the place for a while before heading to the restuarant alone.. all by myself. the place is super ulu loh.. cos its at tanjong pagar area, very quiet except for the cars tt drove past me. the city centre is indeed a graveyard at night! its great to see my cousins again and gossip with them. wahaha~ today ren was so nice to pick food for me! hee.. its a happy friday! no more bun, nailpolish and ugly makeup for the weekend! ~me~ at 1:22 AM
today had lunch tgt with ms foo. shared alot of stories tgt with her. v interesting to have an instructress who has been thru so much and willing to share with us. btw, she's a ex-IFS and now shes a councillor too. tt explains her experiences. anyway, she told me i look nice with long hair bunned up when i told her i have this idea of snipping my hair short. im still deciding.. ~me~ at 8:46 PM
it came to a pt tt happiness was outsourced. too much reliance. really too much... it was initially like a bright glitering star, bringing new surprises and assurance. however one day, it just collapses and thrown into a black hole. ~me~ at 8:29 PM
"whatever enters a bucket, it will be drained off in a big hole"... its something i read in the parables of a pipeline. its some thing like when u earn more, u spend more kind of theory and u can never be rich in such cases. payday was a few days ago.. amt is pathetic, just sufficient to cover the cost of tpt, meals and the cosmetics i bought these few weeks only. yes, we started spending over the weekends. actually i intended to buy something i like.. like a new BIG bag or some roxy three-quarts tt i always love. they r of slightly steep prices which i will never buy when im still scholing. heh. in the end, i din visit tt shop after spending a hundred plus on some necessities and toiletries, which i need. i told myself, i shall save the bag n pants when i have more to spare and save some to invest on a pocket pc and an addidas sweater. not forgetting abt the treats i have to give too. :P as i have mentioned... the amt is pathetic. i dun understand how could one spend $320 ( more than half of the pay) for a CD wallet when she had a LV one already. hmm.. different perspective from me? she has mango from head to bottoms everyday, including numerous jackets and many pairs of heels. another one is like a beauty queen. from cosmetics to skincare, bodycare... name it, and she'll noe and i bet she has tried alot too..*5 bottles of slimming creams, when she's isnt fat at all.. -_-"* every week she seems to go for once session of slimming or facial and shes into eating funny stuff to keep her face nice. heh.. trying to be funny here. yah.. i dun really believe in eating drugs to look better. as for the rest, im not sure of they r into such intensive beauty regime. haha... there's another one. who spends practically wat she has earn over the 2 yrs, as told by herself. chionging is her life, which is done at least once a week and she still dare to tell me tt the guys will pay everything for her, so she just go. hmm.. its really up to individual to do watever they want. i just hope one day down the road, one wont regret for splurging so much now esp when u cant really afford. to me, i prefer doing something more meaningful so when i look back yrs yrs later, i noe i have achieved something. and guys.. i def have bigger dreams than looking for a golden tortise and live on him. heh! :P ~me~ at 9:19 PM
I CANT STAND MY BROTHER!! HE IS A PAIN IN MY NECK! always envy pple with siblings who they can communicate well with. my bro and i are like poles apart, we dun tok to each other unless necessary and often end up in quarrels. most pple say siblings tt are of similar age can communicate very well... tts not the case for me even though we r only 2 yrs apart. he always gimme an attitude and has no respect for me. he also behaves like a kid when he is already 20! however infront of others, like cousins and his frens.. he always as if hes very macho and very helpful. and my cousins will comment tt hes such a innocent boy and i must have always bully him! DAMNDAMNDAMN! btw, he is the chairman for his sch's community work club. kaoz! i think those electing pple must have stamps over their eyes... as for his recent relation with his new gf, sigh... i noe he is still in honeymoon state but like wat mum says he is like bewitched by her. mum doesnt like her. in the middle of his dinner, he can just put his meal aside and tok to her on the phone.. and never come back until she puts down the phone. in less than 1 mth of r/s with her, he had this big mark on his neck.. hes not feeling ashamed at all loh. and if u read his friendster testimonialS (i stress with S) for her, u will die laughing. he attitude seems to get worse and worse. he scolds practically everyone now, even the king of the family. but worse of all... he always link it back to me.. without thinking it will hurt me! "yah lah yah lah... u r so fan.. just like ah lin!" wth.. i wasnt saying anything then. this morning we had an arguement over breakfast again. he said something like ".. oh i learn it from u one!" wah liew... hes putting blame on me loh. FINE.. im always the wrong party! sometimes i really wished i can be mean and ignore him totally but after a while i just forget abt it cos hes still my bro. i admit sometimes my attitude to him is not tt good either. but i cant help it when he is like tt to me. ~me~ at 10:28 AM
A.Current feelings I am feeling... sick again. my tap is leaking quite badly and i cant conc in watever i do. I want: to be at honolulu's beach, sun tanning in my bikini. ha. I wish: everyone is happy and healthy. Where you are: singapore. I miss: my frenz. I listen: at the moment is this track - Disco Dance mega Medley Mix 70's I wonder: wat will happen to me in future. I cry: almost cried when someone told me some sad stories recently. I hate: selfish, irresponsible idiots. B. What people think of you: My father thinks i m: erm... i guess he still thinks im a kid. My mother thinks I am: an irritating child who always gives her problems. ha. C. yes or no Keep a diary: yes. Like to cook: yup.. but u seldom find me cooking cos im lazy. Have a secret you should never share with anyone: hmm.. i guess so. its a terrible feeling. Set ur watch ahead: yes! Bite ur fingernails: nope. Believe in love: hmm..yes/no. D.Who is: The weirdest person you know: ben? :P loudest person you know: sashi? Closest friends: aiwei, jiayin, ampk, gina but we r like difting apart. hmm. The person that will affect you most: me. The person you'd rather be: noone. The person that knows the most about you: me. 1. Where have you been an hour ago? watching tv in mom's room. 2. do you like your name? yes and no. its my name, i shd like it but hor.. its too common le. 3. can you remember what you did on the first day of your school? tts too long ago. 4. what do you want to be ten years from now? i have travelled ard the world, and have a happy family. 5. what did u feel upon receiving survey like this? ay... nothing much. something to let me think abt. 6. at what age you first learned to use a pc? Pri 3 i think. cos i was in the comp club. 7. do u think u could live without a pc? i can.. but i will be v miserable!! 8. do u consider urself a techie person? quite, for a girl. 9. have you ever eaten any exotic food? is deer meat condidered exotic? haha.to me, it does! 10. what is the last illness you have had? im having it now! -_-" 11. do you like listening to rap music? ay.. i hate it. unless its by jay. 12. have you ever thought of driving the train at MRT? nope. i hope i was a pilot though. 13. what did you do last November 1 2003? prob mugging for my exams. 14.Whats ur favourite fairytale? beauty and the beast. 15. which do you prefer? sunny or rainy days? i love the sun. 16. look at your back. what did you see? bed. 17. your last dream that you remembered? ay.. if im not wrong, its STC gers from my class. 18.what do you usually say when you meet a friend that you havent seen for a long time? "hey! how come u r here?" 19. do you agree on the saying 2 forgive is 2 forget? yes to a certain extend. 20. can you ride on a bicycle? yah.. but im not well in tt. 21. Where is that place u always dreamed of? an island with a nice beach owned by mE! 23. What shoes did u last buy? the white heels i bought from charles and keith. 24. When did u last buy a magazine? i dun buy. i subscribe. the last one i bought.. jan? ~me~ at 9:26 PM
i hate studying for stuff tt doesnt make much sense. the different names, the concotions.. basically stuff tt requires pure memory. hmm.. i wished it could be something easier like: acid + alkali ==> salt and water i left with 10 more days... can i finish everything? pray hard for me. ~me~ at 4:02 PM
woohoo... today we had a lot of fun, food and noise at the house of stacey, afa and weichei. after the interesting class we had this afternoon (which tells me tt im a CC, and i truly agree to tt) we were so excited abt the makan session. me, ericia, xinhui and kym went to century square to get the remaining foodstuff, got to their place and we started preparing the meal for our "special flight". haha... there was a huge spread of food! coleslaw with very interesting ingredients in it (bean sprouts and raisins), 4 pizzas, spagetti, chicken wings (vv nice... stacey can open a shop liaoz), fries, sausages, fruits, cheezecake with strawberries, chocolate cake, ice creams.. yum yum! yah, as expected... mary ate alot! haha... and i still feel bloated after drinking alot of water a while ago. it was really fun to have the gers ard although they can be quite noisy.. erm.. actually very noisy. haha.. think the neighbour next door will scold the 3 gers tmr! oppz. :P esp sashi... when shes quiet she dun talk at all. when she talks, usually will bring the whole room down. hahaha... im so happy now cos weekend is here! ~me~ at 1:22 PM
 ~me~ at 12:21 AM
im happy for her tt her life is so much better now compared to then when she told me her dad abused her. at the age of 10, she is required to cook, wash, clean all household chores and also to manage her studies. she ran away from home at 13 and worked in a house. how "exciting" can tt be? i cant possibly do tt, im so dependent on my mom. i cant wait to bring my mom overseas as we were taught how to apply for tickets online! ~me~ at 11:59 PM
when can one break away from always being a follower? develop in their own unique ways and make pple realise abt their presence? being negative is another big killer. ___________________________________________________________________ today i met ms bee for dinner at JP. had a wonderful meal at the lai lai kitchen and mac (for ice cream sundae!) throughout the 3 hrs, we met alot of pple there.. so JP is def not a place to be in if im having some affair.. wahahah~ i met ryan n gf, shaojun n maybe bf, jiuer and bf, saw nooraisha... they have alot to comment abt me. haha. as usual loh, im used to it. somehow feels each one of us do change when we start working... u feel u have alot more responsibilities to hold and u do dread the idea of working everyday. ha. everyone hopes to have a break from work. schooling is still the best choice, rite? :P ~me~ at 10:57 PM
din have many chances to take pics with the rest cos time is tight. only managed to get a few :) ~me~ at 9:16 PM
 ~me~ at 9:15 PM
 mary ~me~ at 9:14 PM
wat an idiotic day to begin with.. dreamt of something real horrible b4 i woke up! omg why issit tt person? hmm... there must be something very wrong with my brain! anyway i woke up feeling real tired.. bushed my teeth, washed my face and ready to put on the toner. then while i was reaching for it, it fell on the ground and broke! its plastic and it broke!! argh..... the stupid bottle cost alot leh... ~me~ at 6:57 AM
today we had this induction thingy, v boring. luckily we were let off early as one of the speaker cmi. from STC, we took ericia's car to orchard where she is meeting her mum.. so me, carol and xinhui went walk walk for awhile b4 heading home. aiyah.. theres something i wanna say.. but i simply cant recall. ha. if i remember, maybe i will write it again tmr. life isnt tt easy. u gotta learn how to adapt and accept how pple are. isnt tt tiring? ~me~ at 10:34 PM
morning i was awaken by the seamtress... i need more sleep on weekends and she simply took tt away from me! i went for tuition after tt. huiyi ah huiyi.. she still has quite alot to catch up for chemistry and her paper is on WED!! hmm... i wondered if the problem lies in me? okie, there will be another one today for her again. after the tuition i rushed to orchard for fitting of kebaya. stupid auntie.... if she noes she cant handle so many pple, why does she call me and tell me to go down earlier??? i waited for soo long b4 my turn loh.. abt 2.5 hrs? maybe its good for me too, having shorter shopping time with jj and buy less stuff. hahha... actually i have no intention to buy things yesterday but when i see the nice clothes, i simply cant resist. retail therapy seems to work for me this time.. haha... in the night, had a sumptuous dinner with the sci club pple at sizzler! wah... i ate alot alot. the main course doesnt taste tt nice, i love the soups and fruits from the salad bar more! wendy and emi bought their albums along and we all had a good time browsing thru the pics. emi spent alot of time cutting the the huge roll of paper she bought from chatuchak, pasting the pics and sewed sequins on it! really nice!! and for wendy's, its like her very own honeymoon album. haha.. *oppz* very nice sceneries, BIG strawberrries and huge display of chocolates from the mkt. how i cant wait to visit europe!! time passes very quickly when u r enjoying urself. after spending 3 hr plus in tt restuarant, we had to say goodbye to all. im glad to have known these frenz thru participating sci club activities in my 3 yrs in nus... really enjoyed the camps, bazaars, occ, flag, rag and of cos chem lectures tt we have gone thru tgt. something which i dont experience when i was in the band. im off to 2 tuitions later... gambatte mary, u can do it! ~me~ at 1:24 PM
 ~*At Sizzler*~ ~me~ at 12:24 PM
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